the new girl on 19/11/11

i must have sounded like an idiot to her.

but yes, i will be stronger. what the hell was i doing? was i even courting a girl??

do i want to court a girl?? yes.

am i thinking of her as my old girlfriend?? ....no.

am i unsure of going into a new relationship? YES! why?

box shop:
what is the name of the soft toy she likes??
she doesn't like hello kitty.
she likes ribbons.

additional information:
she is a member of a chinese dance group.
enthusiastic about chinese culture and language.

qn: how to make her laugh?

http://www.wikihow.com/Woo-a-Girl

1. Show interest, and show her that you would like to get to know her and you were happy to meet her or talk to her.
done that already. on day 7. and what a miserable turnout. well. at least she knows.
though, there are alot of other guys doing that as well.

2. Lead. She wants to be the wooed and not do the wooing so be the first to initiate touch (non-sexual and sexual). Be the one that comes in for the kiss.

3. Take the first step, Girls like the fact that they're being wooed. If you're going to ever win the prize, you've got to tell the prize you want it.

4. Learn to be spontaneous.

5. Plan for the date, pls show that you're resourceful! use the iphone!! always have a plan B!


When talking to her:
Always remember - confidence + self-esteem! Respect her, and respect yourself. You are equals. She is not better than you. DO NOT BE ARROGANT!
1. Always look into her eyes when speaking to her. Just be careful not to get lost in her eyes when she's talking.
2. Be sensitive and caring. Let her cry on your shoulder if she's sad. Make her smile when she's feeling crummy.
3. Don't just act natural - be natural. If your girl has a brain, she'll be able to detect that you're trying too hard, or striving to be something you're not.
4. Whisper in her ear. Girls love this.
5. Girls don't like nasty breath. Eat mints regularly and brush teeth often.

Appearance and behaviour:
7. Dress nicely and fashionable. Use an attractive perfume.
8. Be very hygienic with her - do not share utensils, etc unless asked to do so.
Get in shape!!

Learn to like what she likes, but not in too many ways

Love languages:
Time
Words
Gifts - soft toy, roses, ribbons. green is her fave color.
Deeds
Touch


Bonus points:
6. Show her you have a way with the little ones.
she loves kids. i'm not sure if i do on the same level.
9. Help others. But, show some more care for her, which she thinks that, this is only for her
 16. Get close with the girl's family
12. learn how to dance.

No-nos
 Don't confuse her and send mixed signals. You are not a girl.
Ex: one day you're teasing her, the next you're admiring her..she will get confused and flustered and may give up on you.
do not force her to do anything against her will.
no talking of house, marriage, sex until much much later.
Do not beg!! she wants a man in her life.
NEVER ask for ideas for what to do on the date, make plans and a back-up. If she knows of something better she will tell you
Don't stalk girls. They will start to avoid you

on leave 17/11/11 - 18/11/11 - mood diary

17/11/11, Thursday.
Leave, first day.
don't feel lazy at all. woke up at 7am, completed the usage patterns for pharmacy by 1-2pm. (+)
made a deal with yz to eat dinner at 6pm.
made a deal with w to eat lunch at 3pm.
2:00pm, very tired. went to sleep for 45 min.
2:45pm: still very tired, slept some more. no call from w.
until 3pm, 4pm... 4:30pm.
apparently he got caught in some work.
what to do, he's the one at work and i'm the one slacking. (-)
met him at 5pm. haven't had lunch yet.
went to have a quick bite. then he left at 6pm.
ate dinner with yz at 7pm. then went to his house and watched him play mw3. played a bit as well. (+)

Overall: +2

I usually find that the days before an anticipated good event (e.g. leave), I am very excited. happy about the good event. However when the good event happens, the excitement dies down very fast.

Could it be due to too much expectations about the event. Unrealistic expectations. Hyped up.

18/11/11, Friday
I wonder why i took leave on thursday and friday. there's nothing to do.
Maybe when she was still around, this would be perfect for a trip. now she's not. (-)
Kept thinking about all the things we do. Nice and not-so-nice ones. hate fills during the not-so-nice ones. Kept wondering why everyone is so stupid.
Woke up at 11am today.
first thing was to switch on my comp. facebook. nothing much. (-)
went to start work on the musical score. task: to complete a 112-bar score for 6 instrumentalists who have varying degrees of musical skill.
so many factors to take note of. whether to use tablature?or simply chord symbols? or spell out each note?
worked until 2:40pm. broke off, had lunch.
came back, 4pm. did a bit more until 6pm. not finished yet. about half done only.
i am wondering if they will even appreciate this hard work, or complain about whether i've missed out the little details. and joke among themselves.
i feel very much like a fool clicking on umteenpth times on the mouse only to get the work rejected.
being perfect is clearly an issue here. being accurate.
despite that it's a jamming session, you're supposed to improvise, but i don't know if you can improvise, and if you're not improvising it's not your fault, it's mine, cos i didn't provide the score and lyrics.
and it's supposed to be for my birthday. tomorrow. the jamming session is on the 2 Dec.
i just don't know WHY AM I DOING THIS.
WHY AM I STILL HERE, and what the hell am i supposed to do now.

6:30pm. called the music school. no lesson for today. so, the SMS went unanswered. (--)
kind of a retribution.
asked if i can test the mixer. no reply either. seems like the music school has forgotten me.

7pm.
smsed the usuals to see if they are free, lets go and play computer games.
w - usual. not free. probably with gf. sorry.
the rest - no reply.

i hate friday evenings. really hate. when the whole world is starting to party away, and i am left in this lonely room.

Overall: -6

if taking 2 days of leave has already such a negative impact on the mood, i don't know what will happen if i clear the leave from 3 dec to 11 dec .

mood diary - how it works

this is how the mood diary works.
it is supposed to answer:
- what are the events that happened that day that actually made an impact? how much of an impact did it make?
- remember CAB: cognitive --> affect --> behavior.

scoring system:
- how was the day? was it good (positive score) or bad (negative score) overall? note that the score can vary in the middle of the day, so there can be two scores. report both.
- "+10" is the ultimate expression of happiness (think: the time where my ex wanted to be gf-bf; the time i got my a-level results with nice scores; the future time i got a promotion. etc)
- "+5" is the cut-off point for happiness. anything +5 and above indicates a day/period spent happily; you think happily, behave happily.
- "1-4" indicates the day where it is happy, but not showing it? the happy event is not the main thing?
- "0" is the point for neutrality / indifference.
"-1 to -4" indicates a rubbish day, but you are able to get out of it by the end of the day, you are in control.
"-5 to -9" indicates a rubbish day that is overwhelming.
- "-10" is the ultimate expression of sadness (depression).
-

mood diary (11/11/11 - 16/11/11)

Fri, 11/11/11.
The date where lots of people got married. (-)
Sucky ACC day. missed out alot of stuff, not in control. pts driving me crazy. (-)
can't find someone to go out after work bcos, it was the date where everyone was with their partners. (-)
They declared today Singles day. When did that actually come from?? (+/-) Yeah i'm still single. but not celebrating.
They say this 11/11/11 comes every 1,000 years. well, too bad.
messaged her. ended with something like "this day isn't special if you have no one to share it with". true.

Overall: -4

Sat, 12/11/11.
Morning - 2:30pm: saturday duty (S2). came to do reviews. things i usually do at work. did alot of reviews, about 80+, quite a record. did lots of med recons. felt glad i did alot of things for alot of patients. gave a miss of the hell downstairs in OP. (+)
Stayed back a little. Suddenly heavy rain when i walked out, so can't take 980 (no time to actually do that either). appointment at 3pm. tried to take cab, but cab buzzer at AH spoilt.
luckily, one cab just came and dropped off a passenger. i flagged it and luckily it was going where i wanted to go. (+)
reached cons. finally understood my problem, drew a mind map. am doing this mood diary thing now. at least i am getting somewhere (+)
he suggested to get her out for dinner to meet up. texted her. she agreed. (+)
finished cons. no one to do out with, so i went home and drummed to theme song of the movie "you are the apple of my eye". figured out all the chords and some piano parts. (+) sense of achievement.
slept at 4am.

Overall: +8

Sun, 13/11/11.
morning - went for lunch and shopping at giant supermarket with mum and dad. (+). fulfilled a promise.
night - met friends at pomo. played bridge, relived the uni days. (+).

Overall: +6

Mon, 14/11/11.
two people down, had to shoulder more work. but still managed to finish in time (+)
no acc today. so good! enough time to finish the work.
assigned the parts for the song OST "you are the apple of my eye". the project seems to have a light at the end of the tunnel! (+)

Overall: +5

Tues, 15/11/11
less patients today. managed to finish most of the work before ACC (+)
ACC - 3 pts. !! (+) one very nice patient during ACC (+)
more planning for the song OST.

Overall: +6

Wed, 16/11/11
last day of the week. (off thu and fri). decided to give it my best shot! (+)
finished all work at 3pm. managed to do some of my extra-office work that i wanted to do for a long time. (+)
didn't apply leave. forgot. oops.
HE, HJ, YS gave me a surprise birthday party after work!! nicely disguised! i guess i have not actively participated in birthday parties so long, i didn't even know how to react - they said i didn't seem very excited, happy or ...? (++)

Overall: +9

hai kuo tian kong (cantonese pronounciation)

I never knew how to pronounce the lyrics of this song, i'm not cantonese. it's still hard to pronounce.

Hai Kuo Tian Kong
Beyond

kam tin ngo hon yeh lui hon syuit piew ko
(today,in a cold night, i see snow dropping)
y tziok lang kap liew tek sam wo piew yuen fong
(carrying a lonely soul travelling far away)
fung yue lui chui kon mou lui fan pat cheng yeng tzong
(running in the storm, cannot different shadow in the mist)
tin hong hoi fut lei yue ngo, ho wui pin
(sky and wide ocean, just me and u,it may change)


tho siew chi,ying chiok lang ngan yue tzau siew
(a few times, face with cold look and laughter)
chong mut yau fong hei ko sam zhong tek lei siong
(but never give up dream/hope in the heart)
yat sat na fong fatt yiok yau so sat tek kam kok
(suddenly feel like something missing)
pat tzi pat kok yi pin tam sam lui ngoi
(didnt realize the love has faded)


yuen leong ngo tze yat sang pat kei fong chung ngoi tzi yau
(forgive me this whole life never let go (love) freedom)
ya wui pa yau yat tin wui tit tou
(also scared that will fall one day)
bui hei liew lei seong sui yan tow ho yi
(ignoring the dreams everybody also can)
na wui pa yau yat tien tzi nei kong ngo
(but never scared that one day there will b only u and me)


ying yin tzi yau tzi ngo
(still going strong by myself)
weng yuen kou chiong ngo ko tzau pin cin lei
(will sing my song forever run across a thousand miles)