cool if you had a yard like this.

18 Nov 2011

on leave 17/11/11 - 18/11/11 - mood diary

17/11/11, Thursday.
Leave, first day.
don't feel lazy at all. woke up at 7am, completed the usage patterns for pharmacy by 1-2pm. (+)
made a deal with yz to eat dinner at 6pm.
made a deal with w to eat lunch at 3pm.
2:00pm, very tired. went to sleep for 45 min.
2:45pm: still very tired, slept some more. no call from w.
until 3pm, 4pm... 4:30pm.
apparently he got caught in some work.
what to do, he's the one at work and i'm the one slacking. (-)
met him at 5pm. haven't had lunch yet.
went to have a quick bite. then he left at 6pm.
ate dinner with yz at 7pm. then went to his house and watched him play mw3. played a bit as well. (+)

Overall: +2

I usually find that the days before an anticipated good event (e.g. leave), I am very excited. happy about the good event. However when the good event happens, the excitement dies down very fast.

Could it be due to too much expectations about the event. Unrealistic expectations. Hyped up.

18/11/11, Friday
I wonder why i took leave on thursday and friday. there's nothing to do.
Maybe when she was still around, this would be perfect for a trip. now she's not. (-)
Kept thinking about all the things we do. Nice and not-so-nice ones. hate fills during the not-so-nice ones. Kept wondering why everyone is so stupid.
Woke up at 11am today.
first thing was to switch on my comp. facebook. nothing much. (-)
went to start work on the musical score. task: to complete a 112-bar score for 6 instrumentalists who have varying degrees of musical skill.
so many factors to take note of. whether to use tablature?or simply chord symbols? or spell out each note?
worked until 2:40pm. broke off, had lunch.
came back, 4pm. did a bit more until 6pm. not finished yet. about half done only.
i am wondering if they will even appreciate this hard work, or complain about whether i've missed out the little details. and joke among themselves.
i feel very much like a fool clicking on umteenpth times on the mouse only to get the work rejected.
being perfect is clearly an issue here. being accurate.
despite that it's a jamming session, you're supposed to improvise, but i don't know if you can improvise, and if you're not improvising it's not your fault, it's mine, cos i didn't provide the score and lyrics.
and it's supposed to be for my birthday. tomorrow. the jamming session is on the 2 Dec.
i just don't know WHY AM I DOING THIS.
WHY AM I STILL HERE, and what the hell am i supposed to do now.

6:30pm. called the music school. no lesson for today. so, the SMS went unanswered. (--)
kind of a retribution.
asked if i can test the mixer. no reply either. seems like the music school has forgotten me.

smsed the usuals to see if they are free, lets go and play computer games.
w - usual. not free. probably with gf. sorry.
the rest - no reply.

i hate friday evenings. really hate. when the whole world is starting to party away, and i am left in this lonely room.

Overall: -6

if taking 2 days of leave has already such a negative impact on the mood, i don't know what will happen if i clear the leave from 3 dec to 11 dec .

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